Phi Phi Piss-Head Party

On my last day at the farm in Malaysia my hosts said I'd 'graduated' from the university of Green Wish with distinction because of my hard work and enthusiasm; I was pleased about this considering in the heat I felt I was moving slower than the clockwise snails...

Kenny drove me to the bus station and I caught a coach to Kuala Lumpa airport where I flew into Bangkok to meet my friend Janine who has come to visit me from home! We spent two nights in Bangkok at the backpacker centre of the world, Khao San road, where I introduced Janine to the staple Thai backpacker diet: pad thai, Chang beer and 7/11 toasties! We met up with some girls I'd made friends with a few months ago and sampled a savoured Khao San delicacy - deep fried scorpion.

The scorpion's claws were crunchy and the body tasted like...mushy dead scorpion. You just wanted me to say chicken didn't you. 

I'm all templed out after 5 months in Asia but I had to show Janine a little culture in between beers and beaches so we visited a Buddhist temple where we had to wear skirts to cover our legs.

We took an overnight bus to Koh Phi Phi Island. Many say that Phi Phi's beauty is its own demise and I can see why - turquoise waters, dramatic hills and palm trees have attracted a culture of lairy piss-heads (mainly British!) that crowd around the myriad bars that flank the powdery beaches. Our hostel was constantly full of rowdy groups of lads who would shout and play music 24/7 regardless of who was sleeping; you need to expect this a little with hostels but never have I stayed somewhere as loud as this! 

One night, whilst we were sitting outside, a snake slithered by and a Thai guy hit it with a brick -  the next thing we knew a cat had come along, grabbed the snake and run off with it!

Although the rainy season is meant to be over there were a few wet days and on one of these we took a boat trip around the island which took us to a beach full of monkeys and gave us the opportunity to go cliff jumping; the water was so choppy that most people refused to jump however myself and two guys threw ourselves off the boat and battled with the waves to reach the side of a razor sharp rock which we climbed up and then jumped off (after cutting our legs open on the rocks).

Monkey News: it has been confirmed that monkeys like bananas.

It turns out that a boat trip is the best cure for a hangover.

Cliff jump!

With a 'when in Rome...' attitude we joined the Phi Phi piss-head party many times whilst Janine was visiting. There's a bar on the island that has a full size boxing ring in the middle and they kindly give you a bucket of alcohol if you volunteer to fight Muay Thai boxing. We watched two men fight in the ring and one got knocked out for 15 minutes whilst his mates downed his free bucket...nice friends. I couldn't resist giving it a go and ended up volunteering to fight a Dutch girl I'd met five minutes before hand; we agreed to go as hard as we could and forgive each other for whatever damage was caused! We went for three one-minute rounds and ended up being declared joined winners. I came away from it with a bucket, a medal and a giant bruise on my arm - yes, it was worth it!

Thanks Janine for the pre-fight smack talk - it got me all pumped up!

Muay Thai boxing allows kicking as well as punching (yay?).

After 10 days of Changovers Janine had to catch her flight and leave Thailand. I've been away for five months now so it was both brilliant and surreal having a visitor from home whom I could share a part of my trip with. After she'd left I couldn't bear the hostel we'd been staying at by myself so I found another one and when I walked in to the twelve bed dorm I was surrounded by eleven randy, rowdy men and I could see this was no different to the previous one. Thankfully, three hostels later, I found one that seemed to be a little less 'boys on tour' and settled in there for three nights to wait for my next visitors from England.

Dancing with the enemy; the Dutch girl I fought joined us on the beach later on.

Watching the sunset from the viewpoint.

Beautiful Phi Phi.

Life on the Farm (Part Two)

After five days at the farm another volunteer arrived, a German girl called Romy. She joined Kenny and I as we continued with the farm work; we weeded pineapple fields, harvested tiny cucumbers the size of a fingernail, picked mulberrys (another favourite job of mine because I couldn't help eating them as I worked!) as well as collecting and cutting a strange looking fruit called roselle that Lee-May makes into jam for breakfast. Every day we had breakfast, snacks and lunch prepared for us but were expected to cook dinner for ourselves however we were often so full from all the amazing food given to us that we skipped dinner. Kenny and Lee-May were very concerned about this - they explained that in their culture, because of the history of food shortages during the war, food is the main topic of conversation and they will eat a meal even if they don't feel hungry. Having said this they were both tiny, Romy and I looked like hideous giants when we stood next to them!

Delicious spiky fruit similar to lycées called Rambutan (named after the Malay word for hair) with a seed in the centre that tastes like mange tout.

Lee May showing us how to eat the latest delicacy she had cooked for us

This is a Thai appestiser and the idea is to wrap a little of all the ingredients, eat it in one mouthful and wait for the explosion of flavours!

The farm has the mantra 'love and gratitude'.

Papayas are Kenny's main fruit - before I came to the farm I detested them (they tasted like drain water to me) but now they are one of my favourite fruits because of how organic and fresh they are.

As well as the history of famine in Malaysia my hosts taught me many other things about the country and its history as well as hoards of information about organic farming; there we'd be squatting by a vegetable patch whilst Kenny explained the shape of the ginger plant roots, why the snails' shells curl clockwise here and the opposite way back in Europe, or he'd tell me about the history of the native Asli people that up until recently used to live in the jungle but were forced to join modern society by the government. Romy and I visited a nearby waterfall one afternoon - we walked up the side of it and as we were approaching a dark, forested area we realised we were being watched and followed by two young Indian men; Romy was quite worried about this however I'd had it happen several times in India so I asked them to leave us alone - they couldn't comprehend why watching and following women is unacceptable. We spent the rest of the afternoon hovering around families...

The waterfall.

Kenny showed me how to prepare jack fruits, "The big bits you put in the box and the small bits go in your mouth.". Awesome method.

Pineapple field.

This is how pineapples start their lives!

Pulling Tapioca from the ground!

Monkey News:
One night I was woken up by a clattering sound on the roof and then it sounded like someone was trying to get into my room (my room is a small building on its own surrounded by dark jungle). It took me ages to work out what it was until I thought back to something Kenny had said about the "big and unfriendly" monkeys in the foothills! I could hear the door knob starting to turn as the monkey alternated between the roof and the door and I was so relieved I'd locked it until I realised I'd left the key in the door and it was only a matter of time before the monkey worked out how to use it! I waited for him to clamber back up before I quickly removed the key but the monkey continued to terrorise me for hours after that, pacing the roof and I could see his silhouette trying to peer into the window. Kenny finds this hilarious and now refers to this monkey as my 'boyfriend'....

Life on the Farm (Part One)

In order to save money and learn more about Malaysia I'd arranged to WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) on an organic farm called the Green Wish Vegi Garden; the premise is that I work on the farm each day in exchange for accommodation and food. From Penang I took a ferry and a bus to the meeting place I'd arranged with my host and he was able to spot me when I arrived because I was the only white person for miles! The farmer, Kenny, and his wife, Lee-May, drove me to the middle of nowhere in the Malaysian jungle to their farm; I could tell instantly that they were gentle, intelligent and kind people as we chatted about our lives. It was late when we arrived so I was shown to my room in a small building away from the main house and as I got into bed the jungle around me was buzzing with the sounds of insects, geckos, frogs, birds and wild monkeys chattering in the nearby foothills. Kenny's fruit and vegetable farm enables him and his family to be almost self sufficient, he makes money by selling small amounts of fruit and hosting eco-tours in the surrounding areas; one of these was arranged during my first day at the farm so I was told I had a day off to go cave exploring with a tour group of Malaysians!

The view as I walk out of my sleeping quarters.

Caving!

The farm is in a valley and here you can see the foothills where the monkeys live (Kenny told me they are large and unfriendly!).

The family has nine dogs and this was Po Po, my favourite.

Each morning I'm required to meet Kenny at the main house for breakfast at 7am which was difficult at first - bear in mind I haven't done any work or had any routines for almost five months now (I'm sure you feel very sorry for me). We work for 4-5 hours each morning with a fruit break at around 10am where they let me sample the farm's myriad tropical fruits including some I'd never even heard of before; because they are organic and freshly harvested the fruit is unbelievably good and I feel like a kid at Christmas because I'm allowed as much as I like! I'm the only volunteer at the farm at the moment so Kenny and I work together to pick papayas, bananas, pineapples and passion fruits as well as various vegetables. We also planted ocre and aubergines, created and distributed compost, covered lemons to protect them from fruit flies and my all time favourite job was when we felled a giant tree and I was allowed to go crazy and hack it up with a machete!

This is where I eat breakfast and lunch each day.

Daily fruit break! On the far left is rollinia - it has the consistency of creamy yoghurt - I am addicted to this now!

Here I am checking to see if any papayas are ready to pick.

Pro: beautiful tropical flowers.

Con: ants everywhere!

The heat and humidity gets more and more intense during the morning making it very sweaty, backbreaking work so we're usually finished by 12.30pm and Lee-May prepares us lunch using the vegetables we'd just harvested. I call this place 'food heaven', not just because of the vast array of tropical fruits but because Lee-May is a fantastic cook and I've been able to try many different Malaysian dishes; her food is so interesting I barely noticed it was all vegetarian. After lunch I have the afternoons to myself, there's nobody around and no WIFI so I've been spending my time reading; this is such a contrast from the past month where I've been surrounded by people 24/7! There are, however, a few things that are disturbing my peaceful afternoons - I've caught bed bugs from the hostel I was in before, I've been feasted on by fleas from the nine dogs on the farm, I've been bitten over 50 times by angry ants on my right bum cheek and I can't count how many mosquito bites I have! I'm so itchy I want to peel my skin off and set fire to it...

Ectoplasm

'Popping' to Malaysia wasn't originally on my itinerary but it makes sense to visit peninsular Malaysia so I can re-enter Thailand and get another thirty day visa as I have visitors coming to see me in Thailand over the Christmas period. Before I reach Kuala Lumpa, where I'll fly back into Thailand, I have two weeks to explore the country so I caught an overnight ferry from Koh Tao which I heard one man describe as a 'slave ship' because it consists of a large cabin with row after row of bunk beds. After two subsequent bus trips and two rides in the back of pick-up trucks, 22 hours later I arrived at the Malaysian island Penang, which is not far from the border, and I made my way to a hostel recommended to me called Reggae.

My hostel room had 12 beds all inserted into the wall with a curtain for privacy and your own light and plug socket.

Georgetown in Penang has lots of street art that you can walk amongst (it mainly depicts cats and nobody seemed to know why)

I was in Penang for three days and each morning when I came down for breakfast the old man working there would give me a hug and babble away in what I thought was Malay but later found out was extremely strong-accented English; his name was Charlie and he arranged a trip to Penang's Monkey Beach with me and some other people from the hostel.

'Uncle Charlie'; I thought he was earning money out of the excursion but it turns out he just likes hanging around with young people!

Monkey beach.

Here's something about monkeys for you: they are aggressive and thieving!

My bandaged leg prevented me from swimming (boohoo poor me...).

Malaysia is known for its eclectic mix of cultures, namely Malay, Chinese and Indian, and Penang's street food famously exhibits the culinary best of these cultures and I was determined to try some before I moved on so I went to a food hawker stall area with some other people from Reggae hostel.

The food court was a collection of tables surrounded by food stalls from all around the world from Japan to Armenia.

I was so excited to try a prawn Laksa after hearing people rave about Penang street food but I'm sorry to say it was foul and reminded me of the Myanmar 'monkey poo soup'...

Bag snatching by motorcyclists is common here so imagine how scared I was when a man on a bike grabbed hold of my arm on the street as he rode past! Thankfully he was just warning me to wear my bag across my body which I usually do but I'd got distracted because I'd bumped into some people I'd met in the back of a truck two days before. That time I was lucky. What wasn't lucky was when another man on a bike spat all the way down my back, covering my arm and my top with a massive, stringy, slimy gob (how is it possible for that much ectoplasm-like-goop to come out of one man?!) in between gags I stumbled into a shop to buy something to clean myself (bleach? petrol and a match??) and just at that moment the radio played a public service announcement advising people not to spit in public...

Sunsets, Fire Shows, Fish Death Matches and Injuries...

The adventures on Koh Tao in Thailand continued for another week for me as new people came and went from the hostel. In the mornings I'd be sprinting with a 20lb medicine ball in the blazing sun, in the afternoons we'd go snorkelling, explore the rest of the island or I'd hold craft sessions at the hostel and in the evenings we watch the fire dancers on the beach or swim in the sea and look out for bio luminescence in the water. There's a tiny collection of islands near Koh Tao called Nuang Yuan which are connected by a sand bank and it is deemed one of the most beautiful islands in the world; we had to get a boat out to this island and we spent the day snorkelling around the underwater 'Japanese gardens' (a collection of oriental looking coral) and trekking up to the view point.

Fire show on the beach.

This is the pool at Sunset bar where they let people use the diving board at night - I heard that a drunk guy missed the pool and landed on the concrete the other day!!

Nuang Yuan is technically two islands connected by a sand bank.

Learning underwater hand signals.

There's a bar crawl on Koh Tao that costs around £7 but instead of paying for this I organised several nights out/bar crawls with the people staying with me at Spicy Tao hostel, sometimes it would be fancy dress and it was so successful that at one point people from the official bar crawl were following us! At the end of the road our hostel is on there are a group of Thai men that can provide a taxi service to our favourite spot on the island, High Bar, where the sunset views are out of this world! The taxi men sit there all day and watch tanks of fish...after seeing this happen every day for several weeks I finally asked them what they were doing; the fish are given HongThong (Thai whiskey) and they watch them fight to the death! Gambling is illegal in Thailand, this means no casinos or betting shops, so the locals find their own ways of betting for fun and unfortunately this is often at the expense of fish, poultry or other animals where they're forced to participate in a cruel death match.

Fancy dress bar crawl. Admittance:free!! 

Spicy Family.

Pick-up truck taxi to High Bar.

High Bar views.

During one of my Crossfit sessions I had to complete 100 box jumps and I lost my balance and my shin went crashing into the box and split open down to the bone; I've also aggravated an old back injury so after three and a half weeks on Koh Tao I feel like it's time to move on before I sustain any more injuries! I have met such fantastic people and have the best memories of this island but now I need to do a cheeky two week visa trip to Malaysia so I can get another 30 day visa for Thailand over Christmas and New Year.

I went for my first Thai massage to recuperate after Crossfit-it only costs around £6 an hour!

Attempting to jump over fire - not the best idea when you've hurt your leg!

Sunset at Sairee beach.

Sunset at Freedom beach.

Spicy Family

Once I'd got off the ferry and on to Koh Tao island I hired a motorbike taxi to get to SpicyTao hostel; I'd researched it before arriving and found it to be the cheapest one on the island and very close to where I plan to work out. I'll be staying here for three weeks, which will be the longest time I've been anywhere by far, as I plan to learn Crossfit - a high intensity, constantly varied fitness training because after three and a half months of travelling I'm starting to miss a regular exercise routine (however I've always been active on my trip with treks, swimming and lugging a backpack the size of a small elephant around with me in 40 degree heat). As soon as I arrived I got talking to several people as there are many outside communal areas in the centre of the hostel complex including an outside (but covered) TV area with hundreds of movies downloaded on to it and cushions to lounge on, a large table for meals and a massive, empty stone hot tub. I'm staying 5 mins walk from one of the beaches and on my first night a group of us went down to the bars there to meet a Dutch girl I'd got talking to on the ferry. That was the beginning of many, many SpicyTao 'excursions' that I've taken it upon myself to arrange with whoever is around at the hostel - because of this they call me the SpicyMum and although I've only been here for two weeks I feel like I live here now!

The stone hot tub is perfect for sitting in to play drinking games!

Here we have people from England, France, Argentina, Holland and USA.

Paradise.

One of the adventure days I planned was to go rock jumping and snorkelling on the other side of the island, there's a bay there that I'd heard was perfect for this however there'd been a storm and the sea was far too violent. Once we'd realised this after the arduous hour and a half slog uphill through boiling jungle we decided to scale some giant rocks instead; this was so dangerous that I had adrenaline pumping through my veins and blood on my clothes however I couldn't work out where it had come from until I later realised I was bleeding in seven different places! A Cambodian who works at the hostel showed us an abandoned resort he used to work at and we were looking through the ruins of all the old rooms and kitchens - it was like the set of a horror film!

Freestyle rock climbing.

We also took a swim in the sea and then it started violently raining and thundering - personally I find this more fun than when it's sunny!

Spooky abandoned hotel in the middle of nowhere.

That evening I organised a group night out on the south of Koh Tao and somehow we ended up getting seventeen people on the back of a small pick up truck! There was a fire show at one of the beach bars and in the distance we spotted a lump near the water in a dark part of the beach, when we went to investigate it turned out to be a passed out drunk person and the water was starting to lap around him so we woke him up and very possibly saved his life. Later on we saw him chatting someone up in the bar and he was so paralytic that he didn't realise that it was a very obvious lady boy! We then made it our mission to swim in as many hotel swimming pools as possible before night security came and chucked us out!

Jammed into the back of a truck.

Beach excursion.

Insane sunsets!!

There are eight strangers packed into each dorm, no hot water and a diet of toast and packet noodles so life here is pretty basic however I don't think I've ever stayed in such a fun place before because there's always people around and stuff to do plus I'm on a tropical island - what more could I wish for?! I go to Crossfit training six mornings a week and after four learning sessions I now participate in the intense workouts of the day (WODs). The heat makes running outside and all gym activities much more of a challenge however I'm really enjoying it and whilst I'm already seeing improvements in my fitness levels I can't remember what it feels like to not wake up and feel like I've been hit by a bus!